Last week, I tuned into an IG live that really woke me tf up. I’m talking about a true ah ha moment here. A true eyeopener to where I was at on my journey, and the exit that I needed to take to get back on track. As soon as I tapped into __theupside IG live, the first thing Yonnie asked everyone to do was to describe your current season in one word. I immediately thought of the word surrendering, and dropped it straight in the comments.
Confession. Lately my anxiety has been getting the best of me. I’ve been worrying a lot about my journey as an entrepreneur, and experiencing a lot of panic attacks and downward spirals. Mind you, we are in the mist of a global pandemic, our justice system isn’t serving justice, and this election season is nerve racking af.
Because of my excessive worrying over the past few months, the control freak in me is ready to leave her mark. When my anxiety is up in flames, I usually feel the need to have to control everything, including my situations, my environment, and the people around me. I’ve been made aware that trying to control the uncontrollable is unhealthy for my mental health, and is the main reason why I’ve been experiencing so many downward spirals lately.
My need to control is a reaction to the fear of me not having things under control. This fear stems from the traumatic events in my childhood, that left me feeling helpless and vulnerable. Growing up, my parents were emotionally unavailable and did not nurture my emotional health. I always felt like I had no one to rely on or talk to when things got rough. This feeling of neglect, loneliness, and insecurity that I endured as a child, cultivated my independent, aggressive, and anxious mindset that I carry now as an adult. Yes it's great that I can stand alone and protect myself, but I am also having to pick up the missing pieces, and teach myself emotional intelligence, proper communication skills, and self care in my 20s.
When struggling with anxiety, you tend to worry excessively about your personal health, career, relationships, financial problems and every day circumstances. To release worry, the first step is to recognize the root cause of your anxiety (Most likely a traumatic experience from your past). This level of awareness will bring you clarity and help initiate the necessary change in your life. Next, learn to accept your circumstances for what they are and forgive all those who have hurt you, including yourself. Accept that all of your struggles in life serve a higher purpose, and understand that without forgiveness, you will remain stagnant on your journey. Lastly, surrender all of your worries to God. Instead of fear based thinking, develop a faith based mentality. Life may look shitty, but when you show up every day with a positive attitude, do your best, express gratitude for what is, and have complete faith that God is working with the Universe to make everything better, then that will be your reality.
Remember. Operating in fear is resistance, operating in faith is surrender.